Jindal VS the Volcano.

Bobby Jindal is awesome! He is Governor of a state who faced a huge natural disaster. Hurricane Katrina rocked his state to the core, sending its largest city underwater, and sending it’s residents floating to their death.

You would think that would make the leader of that state want to invest in trying to detect and possibly prevent further natural disasters. Not Bobby Jindal, oh no! He, like another strong willed bad ass southerner says “Bring em on!” Bobby Jindal is ready to start challenging other natural disasters. Bobby Jindal is like Chuck Norris only less of a pussy.

I mean come on, what is so dangerous about about Volcanoes? Whats the last thing they ever killed? Dinosaurs right? I’m quite sure they never killed any Americans. Wait, let me check that.

Mount St. Helens on May 18, 1980, which killed 57 people (including a geologist monitoring the mountain) and was the deadliest and costliest volcanic eruption in U.S. history ($2.74 billion in 2007 dollars)


Give me a break, 57 people? 1,833 people died in Hurricane Katrina! Bobby Jindal laughs at only 57 deaths. Oh and the 2.74 billion dollars in damage! That is nothing. I bet President Obama’s stimulus plan wants 5 times as much as that to monitor Volcanoes. Wait, I better fact check that as well.

The $140 million to which Jindal referred is actually for a number of projects conducted by the United States Geological Survey, including volcano monitoring. This monitoring is aimed at helping geologists understand the inner workings of volcanoes as well as providing warnings of impending eruptions, in the United States and in active areas around the world where U.S. military bases are located.

Wait, all he wants is $140 million. Not only that, not all of it goes to monitor Volcanoes in the US, and near our foreign military bases. That is not too bad. Hold on. Bobby Jindal is a bad ass. He isn’t going to spend a penny to appease these magma terrorists. First of all, if a volcano were to erupt near one of our military bases, he trusts the might of our US Army to fight off the molten magma, and possible tidal wave. Bobby Jindal has confidence in our troops to handle themselves while being rained down upon by ash as hot as the core of the earth. Now as far as volcanoes in the US, give me a break. Have you ever seen a volcano in your neighborhood? Bobby Jindal hasn’t. Besides if there are volcanoes in the US, they are probably little puny ones that if they do actually erupt will just give us some cool red lava rock we can decorate our aquariums with. It’s not like there are any large active volcanoes that could actually do us any harm. Again, I will double check, because I don’t want to steer you wrong.

About 50 volcanic eruptions occur around the world every year, according to the USGS. The United States ranks third, behind Indonesia and Japan, in its number of historically active volcanoes

About 65 volcanoes in the United States are considered active; most of these are in Alaska, where an eruption occurs almost every year. Hawaii’s Kilauea volcano is one of the most active volcanoes on Earth and has been erupting continuously since 1983.

Ok, now I am a little scared. But I am not Bobby Jindal. Like the facts state, most of the 65 volcanoes occur in Alaska and Hawaii. Bobby Jindal could give a fuck about Alaska. That is where that attention stealing whore Sarah Palin is from. Bobby Jindal hopes Alaska is wiped out by a volcano, so the 2012 Presidential debates he will be in will only have one down home straight talking brilliant mind for people to watch and be amazed by. Oh and the huge one in Hawaii, isn’t that the state that harbored the known terrorist Obama. Bobby Jindal agrees with Bush and makes no distinction between the terrorists and the states that harbor them. Let me quickly change the subject again. Supposedly this whole stimulus package was supposed to create jobs. Lets go to John Eichelberger, program coordinator for the USGS’s Volcano Hazards Program.

“Much of the expense of this technology comes from the manpower required to make and install it”, “Ultimately most of this creates jobs or saves jobs that would have been lost” to recent budget shortfalls”

So you are telling me that Bobby Jindal is wrong. That this volcano research Bobby Jindal hates so much is not only necessary, it protects our millitary, our citizens, and it creates jobs?

Bobby Jindal isn’t awesome.

Bobby Jindal is an asshole.

Happy Mardi Gras!

2 Responses to “Jindal VS the Volcano.”

  1. This topic is quite hot in the net right now. What do you pay the most attention to while choosing what to write about?

  2. Usually when a Republican opens their mouth, I wait for some something dumb to come out.

    It’s relatively easy.

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