Happy F***ing New Year!

I hope you all had a great 2010 and have an even better 2011. I know I’m supposed to come up with one of those “Looking Back at 2010” lists, but I’m down to the wire and really don’t have time to research a solid ZZZlist celebrity list.  So I’ll just give you a personal list from the head, heart, and maybe some other body parts.

10 Things I Learned in 2010:

10. Waterproof your shit. You never know when someone is going to puke on your $300 comforter, or you’re going to step in a puddle of raw sewage in your nifty new UGG boots.

9. Try to get a good spa facial weekly. Especially as you get older. I learned this only a few months ago, and my Filipino under-eye bags are almost gone.

8. Don’t make decisions based on someone else’s mood swings or tantrums. You have a right to say/do what you want. If someone else doesn’t like it, fuck ’em.

7. Always do the right thing unless someone fucks with you. This year I’ve learned to do is to be less passive around bullies (internet or otherwise). It’s so easy, I don’t know why I didn’t start practicing this sooner. Fire your guns, and they will run away like cowards.

6. You can learn anything on Wikipedia or Reddit. No need to go anywhere else – they cover it all.

5.  Eating unprocessed foods actually does make you feel healthier. I’ve eaten mostly organic/unprocessed foods all year and I feel good like James Brown did.

4. The iPhone is the greatest invention ever. If I could fuck it, I would. I can’t live without it.

3. Never give a mentally challenged person your phone number. I’ll admit… I love the NSFW photo texts like DO NOT CLICK IF YOU  ARE EASILY OFFENDED. NOT SAFE FOR WORK, HOME, OR ANYWHERE ELSE this. But it’s annoying as fuck when someone with no concept of time calls your cell 100 times a day 24/7 and leaves a message EACH TIME, even though you never return the calls.

2.  If someone steals your lunch at work, don’t get mad. It happened to me multiple times this year. I figure they need it more than I do.

1. If you’re successful, always remember the people in your past who made you who you are today. If you’re a loser, please disregard this part. Let the people who helped form who you are know. If they’re deceased, pour a 40 for your dead homey.  My sub-list here:

  • Sue Tobin aka author Elizabeth George – She taught me how to be a writer and was the first person in my life to have confidence in me.
  • Joey “8” Holzman (RIP) – He got to me in my teens to 20’s and taught me about unconditional love and friendship.
  • Raymond Pettibon – He taught me how to be real, honest, and to always do right by people but not to let my guard down.
  • Dad (RIP) – He gave me my wicked sense of humor with a dash of eccentricity, and my love of the night sky.

Ok it’s a wrap. Have a wonderful 2011 and no drunk driving tonight!

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