Breaking News: The World Did Not End Today

Today the world did not end. Randy “Macho Man” Savage is dead, Zsa Zsa is still alive, and Jeff Conway is in a coma.

Back to Death Blogging… Elizabeth Taylor has Died

Bye bye!

Actress Elizabeth Taylor has died at 79. The cause of death was heart failure.

Yes you probably already know this, and like me, you have probably never seen a movie she was in. But what I do know is that she was married like a million times, a good friend of the late Michael Jackson, and was branded on a perfume that is sold in high-end department stores but smells like a cross between dead flowers and sulfur.

The big question is… When the fuck is Zsa Zsa going to die? At least I have her in my death pool.

Randy and Evi Quaid Caught Freeloading… Again.

Actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were arrested today in Santa Barbara for squatting in a house they once owned.

The Santa Barbara County sheriff’s deputies received a call on behalf of the current owner reporting that squatters had been illegally staying in the guest house. When deputies arrived, they found the Quaids living in the guest house.

The couple was arrested and charged with suspicion of burglary and entering a building without consent. Evi received a separate charge for resisting arrest.

The homeowner claims that over $5,000 in damages made to the guest house was caused by the Quaids.

Last year the couple was charged with skipping out on the bill on a posh hotel. LINK

Hilarious Ads for Adult Films

Amour, a Canadian porn company, has a hilarious new advertising campaign for their line of adult movies.

Their slogan is “You won’t watch for the acting,” and they prove their point by commercial spots featuring bubble-headed actresses and a skeezy director assuring them that the lines that they just read (horribly) were “perfect”.

Watch for yourself – these spots are safe for work. Here is a montage of television ads for Amour:

Roseanne Barr Tells Us Why Marie Osmond’s Son Killed Himself

Roseanne Barr fired off an angry blog post about the suicide of Marie Osmond’s son Michael Blosil, claiming, “Marie Osmond’s poor gay son killed himself because he had been told how wrong and how sick he was every day of his life by his church and the people in it.”

Full blog post below: 

marie osmonds poor gay son killed himself because he had been told how wrong and how sick he was every day of his life by his church and the people in it. Calling that “depression” is a lie!
Yet the Osmonds still talk lovingly about their church, saying nothing about its extremely anti-gay Crusade. Marie also has a gay daughter! Hey, I want her and all the gay kids in the world to know that they are just fine being gay and that they deserve love and respect instead of insults and rebuke! I have gay people in my family and my circle of friends and I am kicking bigot ass and taking names!
That is how its done in my religion—(I have my own religion that I made up for myself and it is a great religion that actually works and respects facts and not fantasy!)
Gerald Lund one of the ex church apostles has three gay kids himself.
Yet, even though the people they say they love the most in all of their public displays and speeches (THEIR KIDS AND FAMILY!!) are gay,– their own children,for crying out loud- these people cannot find the christian decency and compassion within themselves to stop their hypocritical gay bashing!!
How sickening. I know so many mormon kids who were gay and committed suicide, and I just cannot and will not stay quiet in order to not offend bigots anymore. It is all so terribly depressing.
Marie please don’t talk about how your faith in your church has helped you get through this one! Please get some integrity and tell that church of yours that you will leave it and stop giving it ten percent of your money if they don’t stop trying to destroy your kids’ and all gay people’s civil rights and dreams and hopes!!
G-d is trying to use you for something good and this is your opportunity! Your church is wrong and on the wrong wrong wrong side of things! Get as vocal about that as you are about your diet. G-d bless you too, Marie.
Take a hard look at the facts now as you use this very sad time for introspection, healing growth and prayer, and become a strong symbol for loving mothers who make no apologies for hatred against their own kids!

LINK

From the AP, here are some photos of the funeral.

Rip Torn Busted.

Poor Rip Torn was busted last night for breaking into a bank in his hometown of Salisbury, CT.  The 78-year-old actor was was drunk and armed with a loaded gun. He is being held on $100,000 bail. Charges include: carrying a firearm while intoxicated, burglary, carrying a pistol without a permit,  and criminal trespass, to name a few.

Free Gary Coleman!

Today my man Gary Coleman was arrested in Santaquin, Utah on a warrant from a previous count of domestic assault. He’s being held on almost $2,000 bail.

Poor guy can’t get a break. Between a history of hospital visits, thieving parents, and being harassed by overzealous fans, Coleman just can’t seem to be able to live his life. Where can I donate towards his bail?

Joaquin Phoenix Shaves Beard, Cuts Hair. Still Boring.

In this boring, pretentious video, ex-rapper/actor/grizzly man Joaquin Phoenix is joined by Miley Cyrus, Liv Tyler, and some guy who wanted to be in the video too. It’s hard to tell what’s going on here because it’s damn near impossible to watch the entire video without nodding off, but it’s to promote a website To Write Love On Her Arms (navigation of this site is as annoying as the video)

I can just picture these idiots coming up with the premise of the video. I imagine it went something like this:

Miley: Let’s make a video together!

Liv: Ok.

Miley: We can promote TWLOHA.com. I can act like I’m teaching you how to navigate the internet, because I’m so AWESOME!!!

Joaquin (mumbling): Wha?!?!?

Unknown Dude: Can I be in the video too?

Joaquin (mumbling): Ok.

Miley: YAY!!!

Here is the masterpiece:

Family Ties Actor Busted… in more ways than one!

Remember the 80’s show Family Ties, starring Michael J. Fox as Alex Keaton?

Remember the child actor who played Alex Keaton’s little brother Andy Keaton? Cute little fella, wasn’t he? Yeah. He was so sweet and precocious.

Well, here he is now, 28-year-old Brian Bonsall… fresh from his booking mug shot where he was arrested for a drunken assault Colorado.

Apparently the dude has a few anger issues. Not only was he arrested last Saturday after he got into a fight at an apartment and hit a friend with a broken wooden stool, but he was also arrested for assaulting a girlfriend in 2007.

Palin Tricked By Comedian Again, Says Canada Should Drop Public Health Care (VIDEO)

HuffPo:At a recent stop on her “Going Rogue” book tour, Sarah Palin told Canadian comedian Mary Walsh that Canada should get rid of its public health care system.

Walsh is the co-creator and star of This Hour Has 22 Minutes — a nightly news parody show in the same vein as The Daily Show — and she arrived in character, as the conservative Marg Delahunty, to the Borders where Palin (the “Alaskan Aphrodite”) was signing books.

“I just wanted to ask you if you have any words of encouragement for Canadian conservatives who have worked so hard to try to diminish the kind of socialized medicine we have up there.” Walsh shouted to Palin as she approached the table.

Palin’s handlers tried to help her by ushering Walsh out of the Borders, but Palin could not be deterred. When Palin left the signing, Walsh caught up with her in the parking lot, where Palin suggested that Canada should get rid of its public health care system. “Keep the faith” Palin said, “because common sense conservatism can be plugged in there in Canada too. In fact, Canada needs to reform its health care system and let the private sector take over some of what the government has absorbed.”

Raw Story points out that it is unlikely this plan will go over well among Canadians — even among conservatives.

A recent study found that 90 percent of Canadians support universal, single-payer health care. A poll taken last summer shows 82 percent of Canadians believe their health care system to be better than the US’s, despite constant grumbling about waiting times for treatment of non-life-threatening conditions.

This is Palin’s second brush with Canadian comedians. Last November a comedian from Montreal convinced the former governor she was speaking with French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

Watch the video below.