Happy 4th of July!

Marinate in the irony of this photo. My gift to you. Happy Independence Day.

Happy F***ing New Year!

I hope you all had a great 2010 and have an even better 2011. I know I’m supposed to come up with one of those “Looking Back at 2010” lists, but I’m down to the wire and really don’t have time to research a solid ZZZlist celebrity list.  So I’ll just give you a personal list from the head, heart, and maybe some other body parts.

10 Things I Learned in 2010:

10. Waterproof your shit. You never know when someone is going to puke on your $300 comforter, or you’re going to step in a puddle of raw sewage in your nifty new UGG boots.

9. Try to get a good spa facial weekly. Especially as you get older. I learned this only a few months ago, and my Filipino under-eye bags are almost gone.

8. Don’t make decisions based on someone else’s mood swings or tantrums. You have a right to say/do what you want. If someone else doesn’t like it, fuck ’em.

7. Always do the right thing unless someone fucks with you. This year I’ve learned to do is to be less passive around bullies (internet or otherwise). It’s so easy, I don’t know why I didn’t start practicing this sooner. Fire your guns, and they will run away like cowards.

6. You can learn anything on Wikipedia or Reddit. No need to go anywhere else – they cover it all.

5.  Eating unprocessed foods actually does make you feel healthier. I’ve eaten mostly organic/unprocessed foods all year and I feel good like James Brown did.

4. The iPhone is the greatest invention ever. If I could fuck it, I would. I can’t live without it.

3. Never give a mentally challenged person your phone number. I’ll admit… I love the NSFW photo texts like DO NOT CLICK IF YOU  ARE EASILY OFFENDED. NOT SAFE FOR WORK, HOME, OR ANYWHERE ELSE this. But it’s annoying as fuck when someone with no concept of time calls your cell 100 times a day 24/7 and leaves a message EACH TIME, even though you never return the calls.

2.  If someone steals your lunch at work, don’t get mad. It happened to me multiple times this year. I figure they need it more than I do.

1. If you’re successful, always remember the people in your past who made you who you are today. If you’re a loser, please disregard this part. Let the people who helped form who you are know. If they’re deceased, pour a 40 for your dead homey.  My sub-list here:

• Sue Tobin aka author Elizabeth George – She taught me how to be a writer and was the first person in my life to have confidence in me.
• Joey “8” Holzman (RIP) – He got to me in my teens to 20’s and taught me about unconditional love and friendship.
• Raymond Pettibon – He taught me how to be real, honest, and to always do right by people but not to let my guard down.
• Dad (RIP) – He gave me my wicked sense of humor with a dash of eccentricity, and my love of the night sky.

Ok it’s a wrap. Have a wonderful 2011 and no drunk driving tonight!

I’m With Banksy on this One

Banksy got it right.

 

As a lifelong Atheist, I don’t get into the “Christmas spirit” at all.

I mean, I exchange gifts, participate in Reddit’s Secret Santa each year, I donate to charities, and send non-religious cards.  But as far as your Christmas trees, Chanukah candles, and whatever it is that people do to celebrate Kwanzaa, that’s your business. Just please keep your stupid Christmas songs, drunk Baptist drivers, killing of pine trees, and torturous Christmas events to yourself.

What I’m trying to say here is that whatever it is that you celebrate, do it safe and have a good one. For me, tomorrow I shall be shopping in those great after-Christmas online sales. I’m even considering a pair of UGG boots – and I make fun of people who wear UGGs. It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds.

 

“Goodfella” Henry Hill to Appear in Dallas – You’re Invited!

Come help us celebrate the 20th anniversary of the film “Goodfellas” at Silver City – Dallas’ Premiere Cabaret on Friday, August 6th at 9p.

Watch the movie “Goodfellas” along with the man who was portrayed by Ray Liotta in this epic Martin Scorsese film. Henry will be there answering questions, signing autographs, and selling his exclusive merchandise.

This is an “adults only” event.

Redditors – Join us for a Dallas meet-up!

On this 4th of July, We Celebrate Freedom

On this holiday, most Americans celebrate their freedom across the nation by lighting fireworks, blowing shit up, drinking beer, dropping the phrase “founding fathers”, and getting into bar fights.

In the spirit of Independence Day, I’d like to highlight some of the freedoms we currently enjoy:

• The freedom to invade other countries in order to enable a corporation to become a war profiteer and make billions in lucrative contract work.
• The freedom heterosexuals have in voting to decide if individuals of different sexual orientation can get married.

And my personal favorite:

• The freedom to own a gun and drunkenly shoot it in the air tonight, oblivious to the life potentially snuffed out by my bullet’s descent.

Here is a great holiday quote for today:

“Freedom is never given, it is won.” – unknown

It says that the author of that quote is unknown. I suspect it’s origins came from someone in the Bush Administration.

Thanks for a Great Year!

It’s been quite a year for the blog and the show! Thanks to our readers and listeners, in 2009 we’ve had more views and downloads than we could possibly imagine. Thank you all for your support.

We have exciting things coming in 2010, so stay tuned.

We wish you all a safe, happy new year.

Regards,

Ro and Chris

Berlusconi Punched, Attacked In Face At Rally.

ROME (AP) — Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi was punched in the face at the end of a rally on Sunday by a man holding a small statue in his hand, leaving the 73-year-old media mogul with a bloodied mouth and looking stunned, police said. The 42-year-old man accused of attacking Berlusconi in Milan as he signed autographs was immediately taken into custody.

The US Secret Service would have had our President in a moving car by :02 of this video.

Tofurky and Gravy Soda

First off, I’d like to wish all of our beloved readers a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday! I know this is a day late, but I’m in Los Angeles at a relative’s house who was waiting for me to get in and hook up the wireless router.

By the way, I ran across the perfect Christmas gift for that wacko PETA-loving relative who you never know what gift to buy for them. Buy them a Jones Soda Co. Tofurky & Gravy Flavored Soda gift pack for $11.99.

Each gift pack contains:

• 1 Bottle of Jones Zilch Black Cherry
• 1 Bottle of Jones Zilch Pom
• 1 Bottle of Jones Zilch Vanilla Bean
• 3 Bottles of ToFurky
• 1 ToFurky Metal Lunch Box.

If you don’t know what Tofurky is, it’s a Turkey made out of Tofu. And it’s the most rubbery, tasteless piece of shit you could ever eat.  But your vegan gift-recipient should be used to eating this kind of stuff so who knows? They might love it.

 

Sean Hannity admits John Stewart was right about bogus footage. (VIDEO)

Jon Stewart, or should I say his writers, totally caught Fox News trying to misinform their already misinformed viewers. Michelle Bachman (R etard) held an event in Washington DC, and while she was speaking to Hannity about it, footage of the 9/12 Rally was played with the tag “earlier” in the upper left corner of the screen. While Bachman (R eally nuts) estimated that 20,000-45,000 people attended the event, the Washington Post reported it was actually more like 10,000.

Well I guess when caught red-handed, Hannity had to admit the footage was false. However he said it was a mistake, and unintentional. Umm, yeah Sean, the only people that would believe that crap are the people that, well, watch your show.

Fred Phelps’ Church Protesting Outside Sasha and Malia Obama’s School

Westboro Baptist Church, the “God Hates Fags” troupe, famous for protesting at military funerals and claiming that God is punishing the country for its tolerance of homosexuality, was spotted this morning protesting outside Sidwell Friends, the school attended by Sasha and Malia Obama.

Protesters were carrying signs with anti-gay, anti-abortion and anti-Obama slogans, slowing down traffic all along Wisconsin Avenue this morning.

One member, Megan Phelps-Roper, posted a picture on Twitter of the protest.