Cheeseburger Josh’s Conqueror Issues Official Statement

Joe Guichebarou, the guy who took down the mighty Cheeseburger Josh in the St Patrick’s’ Day Whataburger incident has issued an official response to the episode.

All Josh wanted was a burger. Just one burger.

The Tale of Cheeseburger Josh

Poor Josh.

Imagine you’re a Texas redneck… out with your friends celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day, drinking, having fun, wearing stupid green things around your neck. And suddenly your diabetes type 2 hypoglycemia flares up and you need to fuel up with a delicious cheeseburger or you will pass out. Logically, you’d go to the closest Whataburger for a cheeseburger. Which is what Josh tried to do.

The next thing he knew, his friends ditched him, the restaurant wouldn’t serve him, a hippie beat him up, and his bare ass was hanging out of his shorts. And it was all caught on camera. Now, the video is on Youtube for the world to see – and there is an entry dedicated to him on Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Poor Josh.

Tofurky and Gravy Soda

First off, I’d like to wish all of our beloved readers a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday! I know this is a day late, but I’m in Los Angeles at a relative’s house who was waiting for me to get in and hook up the wireless router.

By the way, I ran across the perfect Christmas gift for that wacko PETA-loving relative who you never know what gift to buy for them. Buy them a Jones Soda Co. Tofurky & Gravy Flavored Soda gift pack for $11.99.

Each gift pack contains:

• 1 Bottle of Jones Zilch Black Cherry
• 1 Bottle of Jones Zilch Pom
• 1 Bottle of Jones Zilch Vanilla Bean
• 3 Bottles of ToFurky
• 1 ToFurky Metal Lunch Box.

If you don’t know what Tofurky is, it’s a Turkey made out of Tofu. And it’s the most rubbery, tasteless piece of shit you could ever eat.  But your vegan gift-recipient should be used to eating this kind of stuff so who knows? They might love it.

 

Krispy Kreme Donut Burger

Yes, it’s true. Obese Americans and Homer Simpson can rejoice as cheeseburger served on Krispy Kreme donuts is now available.  This donut-burger packs an astounding 1,500-calorie, more calories than many people eat in an entire day.

Made with a burger patty, bacon, and cheese served in a grilled Krispy Kreme donut bun, over 17,000 of these burgers were sold recently at a fair in Massachusetts.

Glenn Beck thinks Government will make you stop eating meat. Seriously.

They're coming to take me away ha-ha!

Beck somehow thinks he’ll somehow be personally forced to stop eating meat. He then becomes horrified about the “indoctrination” of school children in Baltimore, which has instituted a Meatless Monday lunch program. The “controversy” of serving vegetarian food in schools has also been described by Lou Dobbs as a “political storm in the making”.

Burger King + Windows 7 = ???

Meet the new Windows 7 Whopper, the result of a marketing campaign brought to you by Microsoft and Burger King. The Windows 7 Whopper is made up of 7 (that’s SEVEN) flame grilled quarter-pound beef patties, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, pickles, ketchup, and onion packed inside of a sesame seed bun. Processed cheese available on request.

The Windows 7 Whopper is available only at Burger King restaurants in Japan.

Please Tell Me this is a Hoax! KFC’s New Quadruple Down Sandwich

Remember when I told you a few months back that KFC had a new sandwich called the “Double Down”?  Well the website This Is WhyYou’re Fat has reported that KFC has a new sandwich…. the Quadruple Down.

It consists of six pieces of  bacon, three slices of cheese, the Colonel’s secret sauce, and four fried chicken breasts used as buns.

This can’t be real, can it?

Free Evil Ronald McDonald Mask for Halloween

PETA is sending out free evil Ronald McDonald masks just in time for Halloween! Get yours now, while supplies last.

Sign up to receive your FREE evil Ronald McDonald mask HERE.

PETA Strikes Again!

This weekend, youngsters got to see first hand what can happen to you if you promote your chicken products while practicing chicken-abuse in Controlled Atmosphere Killing facilities.

Can’t a clown get a break?

A 4 Year-Old McDonalds Happy Meal

Ever wondered what a 4-year-old McDonalds hamburger looks like? Me neither, but here it is:

On a side note… how can a dietician be so chubby and still be taken seriously? Isn’t that like being a “Family Values” politician who patronizes prostitutes?