Archive for Cracked Actors

He-man Jude Law Smacked a Female Photographer

Posted in Actors. LOL., Entertainment with tags , , , , on July 23, 2009 by Ro


Actor Jude Law got into a drunken scuffle last night with a female photographer who was trying to take his photo. But according to his spokesperson, this never happened:


“The Alfie star, through his attorney, said he was temporarily blinded by the flash of multiple cameras and the incident was an accident. His attorney said that Law — who was arrested on assault charges involving a photographer two years ago — is innocent of any wrongdoing.”


Is Jessica Alba Retarded?

Posted in Actors. LOL., Entertainment with tags , , , , , , , on June 9, 2009 by Ro


Seriously, is Jessica Alba retarded, or just another actor with a God-complex?

While filming a movie last week in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma last week, actress Jessica Alba ran around town with blogger and shark conservationist White Mike plastering posters of great white sharks around the city, including on a billboard for the non-profit organization United Way. She did this to help bring attention to the dwindling great white shark population off of the coast of Oklahoma. What? Oklahoma is not on the coast? Well never mind, then. 

Poor White Mike made the mistake of posting photos on his blog. He took them down shortly thereafter, but not before a blogger from the Oklahoma based blog saved them and posted the incriminating photos on their website. 

From Twitter… White Mike’s twat:



This incident has proven to be mose embarassing for poor Jessica, who issued the following statement, according to TMZ:

“I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign. I sincerely apologize to the citizens of Oklahoma City and to the United Way for my involvement in this incident.”

So as you can see, this is all White Mike’s fault. On behalf of Jessica Alba and all of Oklahoma City… Fuck you, White Mike.

Actors. LOL.

Posted in Actors. LOL., Entertainment, Music with tags , , , , , on April 10, 2009 by Ro

QTV interviews mediocre bluegrass band “The Boxmasters”, whose drummer/singer happens to be actor Billy Bob Thornton. Hilarity ensues when Billy Bob’s ginormous ego gets bruised and he goes all “Joaquin” on the host.

Like the Phoenix from the Flames. Or “into” the Flames. Whatever.

Posted in Actors. LOL., Entertainment, Music with tags , , on March 12, 2009 by Ro

Gangsta Rapper Joaquin Phoenix jumped off of the stage and attacked a heckler in a Miami club last night because the dude made fun of his rap.

I have no idea why anyone bothered to bleep out the bad words because I couldn’t understand a fucking word Joaquin Phoenix was saying. But according to the AP, the following is what went down:

Phoenix came out on stage before 2 a.m., smoking a cigarette and wearing a disheveled dark suit, sneakers and his scraggly long hair and beard.

He began rapping to a beat played by the DJ and nodding to the music, although most of the lyrics were unintelligible. Then he responded to someone who appeared to be heckling him in the audience near the stage.

“We have a (double-expletive) in the audience,” he said before jumping into the crowd. It was not immediately clear whether the two men exchanged any blows.

“I saw the guy screaming at Joaquin, and Joaquin just came down,” said Jorge Lledo, 30, of Miami Beach.

Security guards swarmed the scene and dragged Phoenix away.

Even more shocking was the fact that the MC was impersonating Flava Flav from almost 20 years ago by saying, “Yo… Make some noizzzze for Joaquin BABAAAYYYY!!!”.

Actors. LOL.

Posted in Actors. LOL., Entertainment with tags , , , on February 28, 2009 by Ro
Brad Pitt checks Gwyneth Paltrow's fluid levels.

Brad Pitt checks Gwyneth Paltrow's fluid levels.

Gwyneth Paltrow has a blogsite…  I’m not really sure what the purpose is other than to show the world how much better she is than the rest of us. What a self-indulgent piece of shit. Some excerpts for your enjoyment:

In the last GET newsletter I talked about the importance of what I call my uniform—the basic idea of what I am going to wear every season so I can eliminate daily guess work. Personally, I like to stick to the classics in both my everyday life and in the evening. Whether I am going to meet friends for dinner, a cocktail party or a bigger event, the most classic of classics, the little black dress, never fails me. I have found a few great ones in all different price ranges and each has amazing versatility. It could be Zara, it could be Balenciaga, but a well-cut, well-proportioned black dress has gotten me through many a fashion crisis.

Ro comment: She calls this “important”. I can think of more important things besides Gwynneth’s dress. Volcano monitoring, for example.

I think we all begin the new year with thoughts of things we would like to improve, learn, be more disciplined about, cut out of our diets. In January 2007 I decided I’d had enough of my saddlebags and post-pregnancy Shar-Pei-like stomach. I met an incredible woman who changed my life. Her name is Tracy Anderson. She is a dancer, a trainer, an “organic plastic surgeon” as my friend Julia calls her. Her program works but you have to work it. For real. Right now she is on tour with Madonna so I do a lot of video chat with her and I do her DVDs. Every once in a while she sends me a little movie to change something up. She sent me this one for the New Year’s butt. It’s really hard. But do it like she says to do it and I swear that in ten days you will see your butt change shape. I do it with 1 lb. ankle weights and then I do her Dance Aerobics DVD. Some days I hate it, some days I love it, but above all, I stick with it. The sticktoitivness is what it is all about.

Ro comment: lol “sticktoitivness”. STFU, Gwyneth.

As a mother of two young children with lives as busy as my own, I am constantly trying to do more than I can achieve. Sometimes with all of the multitasking, school runs, thank you notes and household responsibilities, not to mention my professional life, I feel like I am doing so many things, none of them as well as I could. My main priority, far and above anything else in my life, is my children, their happiness, stability, individualism and well-being. In your opinion, what are the most effective ways to be with one’s children? What is most important in terms of their emotional and mental development? Are there specific things we can do to help them grow up to reach their full potential?

Ro comment: Didn’t she name one of her kids “Apple”? How is that gonna help with this child’s mental development to have a retarded name?


Actors. LOL.

Posted in Actors. LOL., Entertainment with tags , on February 6, 2009 by Ro
Christian Bale finishes off the lighting guy from T4.

Christian Bale finishes off the lighting guy from T4.

Ok I admit I’m days months behind on this one, but I just got around to listening to Christian Bale’s tantrum on the set of “Terminator Salvation”.

What I like the most about actors is their ability to entertain me, whether they are preaching scientology to Oprah,  posing for pics with asians while making the “slanty-eyes” face, or berating some poor lighting guy on the set of T4.

Christian Bale’s Tantrum – Courtesy of

Link to TMZ Article

Fuck ’em.’

*Edit* This just in… Tracy Jordan from 30Rock  had a similar meltdown on the set. He lost his temper at a cameraman who was filming him while he was trying to act.

P.S. For our more dimwitted viewers, this is a parody of the Christian Bale tantrum.