Archive for FARK

Did Glenn Beck Rape And Murder A Young Girl In 1990?

Posted in Actors. LOL., Announcements, Crime, Deaths, Entertainment, Events, Mug Shots, News, Politics, Weird with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2009 by Otto


Any political junkie has heard the old tale of LBJ’s dirty campaign tricks.

During LBJ’s first congressional race, when he supposedly told his campaign manager to begin circulating the rumor that his main opponent, a pig farmer, was practicing animal husbandry a bit too literally. “Jesus, Lyndon,” the campaign manager was said to have responded. “Nobody’s going to believe that.” “Yeah,” quoth LBJ, “but I want to hear the son of a bitch deny it.”

Well now I’d like to turn your attention to another person who practices such vile techniques. Glenn Beck. Glenn claims to be a Libertarian, and his 1 hour show on Fox News makes Alex Jones look sane. He makes some of the most unbelievable, outlandish, disgusting claims about his political enemies. Yet he manages never to be called out for it, much less sued for it because he hides behind one punctuation mark. The question mark.

If you have ever watched his show, you will hear him use this techineque with surgeon like precision. “I am not saying Obama is a Marxist, I am just asking the question, is Obama a Marxist?” “I’m not saying there are microchips in the swine flu vaccine, but I must ask, is there microchips in the vaccine?” Glenn floats these questions through satellites, directly into the brains of the mouth breathers that watch his show, and gets paid millions doing so.

But now the tables have turned, and the man who “asks the questions others are afraid to ask,” is being asked a question he is afraid to answer.

Did Glenn Beck Rape And Murder A Young Girl In 1990?

Sure the idea that a man with such boyish good looks would have to force himself on any woman is hard to swallow. He is also a very sensitive man, as he cries at the drop of a hat, so I would think murdering a young girl would be too much for him. Well the truth is, most likely, he did not rape or murder anything other than his knowledge of American history. It was simply an internet meme, that started on, to satirize the way he fashions his bogus arguments as questions, to protect himself from litigation. The meme itself was based on a Gilbert Godried joke during the Roast of Bob Sagat.

So imagine our suprise when Glenn got his magic Morman panties in a twist when a young man who goes by “Name Withheld” started a site called

On the site, he made it clear that it was a parody site. As I stated before it was just a play on the way Beck makes allegations, then ends them with a question mark to cover his ass. Well Glenn Beck felt it was actioanble. He actually sued the domain name owner. Why you ask? Was it because he thought it was slander, or libel? NO! He sued on the grounds that people might feel that the site was run and owned by Glenn Beck himself. He filed a WIPO complaint, claiming that “Name Withheld” was violating Glenn Becks trademark! Apparently Beck not only lacks journalistic integrity, he also lacks common fucking sense.

Of course “Name Withheld” won the complaint. In addition the suit brought more national, and international attention to the site, and Glenn Beck’s alleged actions in 1990.

In conclusion, I would personally like to say that I in NO way believe that Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Girl in 1990.

I just want to hear the son of a bitch deny it!

ZZZlist’s Top 5 Celebs to Follow on Twitter

Posted in Entertainment, News with tags , , , , , , , on August 18, 2009 by Ro


If you want to know what your favorite celeb is doing, eating, or where they are going, Twitter is the place to be.

Below are our top 5 celebrities to follow on Twitter, based on my opinion of the quality of their twats.

5. Quest Love  (drummer for The Roots) – Questlove’s insightful, humorous, socially aware and politically charged twats earned him a spot on the top 5 list. From health care to Michael Jackson, the subjects of Questlove’s twats are a refreshing change of pace from the inane bullshit that you see coming from other celebrities on twitter.


4. Wil Wheaton Wil Wheaton, actor and golden child of is a geek. When he’s not tweeting about science fiction, computers, or robots, he posts some pretty funny dialog between him and his cat.


3. Stephen ColbertColbert has 2 twitter accounts – one for work and one for home. While both are entertaining, for the purpose of this article I’m going to assume that the work twats are written by teenage interns at Comedy Central and his home twats are written by Colbert himself.

Colbert’s twats are political in nature and often reflect topics discussed on The Colbert Report. For those of us who are die-hard fans, Colbert’s posts serve as ticklish little twat teasers to hold us over until his next show.


2. John MayerI’m not totally happy to be adding John Mayer to this list. He’s a musician but I couldn’t tell you one song he’s released. All I can tell you about his music is that he’s not Howie Day. Another thing that irks me about Mayer is that he’s dated two of the most annoying bitches on earth, Jennifer Anniston and Jessica Simpson. Although props to him for having the cajones to date Aniston. Imagine the pressure he must have felt performing sexually knowing that his dick is where Brad Pitt’s dick has been before. Imagine following that act?.Bra-vo, Mr Mayer. Bravo. All character flaws aside, I can’t help but notice that the dude is fucking funny on Twitter. I mean really funny. Consistently funny.

Here one of Mayer’s many hilarious responses to Perez Hilton crying on youtube after someone from Wil I Am’s crew punched him in the face:


1. Boy GeorgeThis man is the most attentive to his fans and brutally honest celebrity on Twitter. Unapologetically gay, Boy George shares a lot about his life with his friends and fans, including his favorite music, photos, clothes, and men. That combined with his bratty sense of humor makes him the #1 celebrity to follow on Twitter. Other celebs should follow his lead.